Mathew Knowles
The Trouble Within
One of the current hot topics in the media is the law suit recently filed against Matthew Knowles, who is the father of the most powerful female celebrity, “B”. Mr. Knowles’ first marriage to Tina ended in 2010 because of a similar paternity issue. He has since re-married and is now faced with the same devastating set of circumstances.
I’m sure there are countless opinions about his behavior and why he has allowed himself to land in the same trouble that ruined his first marriage. The latest scandal involving Mr. Knowles is the basis for the discussion about what goes on inside of an individual, and how if left unchecked, the trouble within will adversely affect what happens externally.
With all that he seemingly has going for him: good looks, lots of money, a beautiful wife, and a great career, if paternity has indeed been established, we are left to wonder, speculate, or conclude that something within must compel Matthew Knowles to repeat the exact same destructive actions over and over again. The fact that his extramarital affairs have involved babies means that his destructive behavior includes impaired judgment by having unprotected sex. The impaired judgment goes beyond having babies, given the epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases that can be fatal.
So what drives the man who has everything to engage in such behavior? The problem can’t be looks, money, careers, or gorgeous spouses because if that was the case, there would be no scandal involving a man who appears to have it all, but constantly does everything to destroy it all. I use the word seemingly when it comes to the attributes he possess because I have witnessed people who do everything to dress up the external, portray certain images, and live certain lifestyles because they love and/or are addicted to the appearance of success, happiness, wealth, etc., when in fact appearance is all they have. Beneath the surface reside issues and problems that influence horrible decisions that not only hurt them, but those who love and are close to them. Remember that “how it looks” (appearance) isn’t always “how it is” (reality).
It wouldn’t be unreasonable to question a man’s actions when he is repeatedly involved in extramarital affairs and fathering children outside of the marriage as a result thereof. It isn’t unreasonable that some people will brand him a “ho”. It isn’t unusual for the woman in his life to blame herself, or question who she is, or her worth while trying to figure out what went wrong. The fact is that no one can make the other party have an extramarital affair. Although thoughts of infidelity may surface when there’s trouble in Paradise, the ultimate decision to actually go outside of the committed relationship or marriage belongs the person who commits this offense. So no one should be left to struggle with what he or she did wrong to make the other individual cheat. In the end, the cheater made a decision, and there will be consequences (good or bad) for the decision made. Although the decision may be destructive or bad, that doesn’t mean the person is bad. The reality is that decent people make bad and/or destructive decisions. Nonetheless, they should be held accountable for their bad and/or destructive decisions – not their spouses or partners.
Getting back to my point about appearance, the answers to patterns of destructive behavior can be found within a person. To repeatedly go outside of committed relationships means there is something missing within the cheater. There is a void that cannot be filled by anyone else. Beautiful women and handsome men will not fill the void; money will not fill the void; and a great career won’t do the trick. That’s why people such as Mr. Knowles and others who appear to have it all commit destructive acts. The empty place within makes them aimlessly search for it in other people and things. The wife of an unfaithful husband can be under the misguided impression that if she changes her looks, clothes, or hair, he will become attracted to her again and cease his wayward ways. This is a false notion because the problem isn’t one of attraction. It’s a matter of his low or no self-esteem, which will become hers as well if she doesn’t recognize the problem and combat it intelligently, timely, and effectively.
Men who habitually cheat deal with internal conflicts and among them are issues of self-worth, manhood, and virility. So if he is internally troubled, confused, and out of touch, the changes a woman attempts to make in order to be attractive to him are futile because he and she are operating out of false notions. If a woman doesn’t feel beautiful within, she may cheat and constantly search for relationships looking for a man who makes her feel beautiful. She will never find him because he can’t make her feel beautiful if she doesn’t believe she is. If her appetite for glory based on external looks isn’t satisfied, her frustration will be manifested in a number of destructive ways. Nothing her partner does will be appreciated. When the man or woman who is empty, troubled, refuses to admit it, or take corrective action, they will turn to others in order to prove a lie. If he or she isn’t satisfied within, nothing the other person does will be satisfying. Fulfillment begins with self-fulfillment. Happiness starts with inner-peace.
The habitual cheater may appear to be happy with constant conquests, but happy they are not. Except for foreplay and a few seconds of climax, engaging in sexual behavior with a long list of lovers cannot be satisfying. It means that none of them are fulfilling whatever the “wonderer” is in need of. Once again, the problem is within. In the end, they are not to be envied, but rather pitied. They lose of a piece of themselves to each person with whom they come in sexual contact. If they’re in a constant state of losing, then it is improbable they will ever be fulfilled. Hence the search continues.
There is no space for trouble to reside within when we are conscious about what it takes to fulfill us. When we are comfortable in our own skin, completely satisfied with who we are, and allow ourselves to evolve, it isn’t necessary to search for these qualities in other people. When this is the case, the decisions we make are sound, value-added, and for the good of the loving relationships. When we are self-fulfilled with self-esteem, it isn’t necessary to take from others because we have plenty in reserve and to give.
~Copa
I’m sure there are countless opinions about his behavior and why he has allowed himself to land in the same trouble that ruined his first marriage. The latest scandal involving Mr. Knowles is the basis for the discussion about what goes on inside of an individual, and how if left unchecked, the trouble within will adversely affect what happens externally.
With all that he seemingly has going for him: good looks, lots of money, a beautiful wife, and a great career, if paternity has indeed been established, we are left to wonder, speculate, or conclude that something within must compel Matthew Knowles to repeat the exact same destructive actions over and over again. The fact that his extramarital affairs have involved babies means that his destructive behavior includes impaired judgment by having unprotected sex. The impaired judgment goes beyond having babies, given the epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases that can be fatal.
So what drives the man who has everything to engage in such behavior? The problem can’t be looks, money, careers, or gorgeous spouses because if that was the case, there would be no scandal involving a man who appears to have it all, but constantly does everything to destroy it all. I use the word seemingly when it comes to the attributes he possess because I have witnessed people who do everything to dress up the external, portray certain images, and live certain lifestyles because they love and/or are addicted to the appearance of success, happiness, wealth, etc., when in fact appearance is all they have. Beneath the surface reside issues and problems that influence horrible decisions that not only hurt them, but those who love and are close to them. Remember that “how it looks” (appearance) isn’t always “how it is” (reality).
It wouldn’t be unreasonable to question a man’s actions when he is repeatedly involved in extramarital affairs and fathering children outside of the marriage as a result thereof. It isn’t unreasonable that some people will brand him a “ho”. It isn’t unusual for the woman in his life to blame herself, or question who she is, or her worth while trying to figure out what went wrong. The fact is that no one can make the other party have an extramarital affair. Although thoughts of infidelity may surface when there’s trouble in Paradise, the ultimate decision to actually go outside of the committed relationship or marriage belongs the person who commits this offense. So no one should be left to struggle with what he or she did wrong to make the other individual cheat. In the end, the cheater made a decision, and there will be consequences (good or bad) for the decision made. Although the decision may be destructive or bad, that doesn’t mean the person is bad. The reality is that decent people make bad and/or destructive decisions. Nonetheless, they should be held accountable for their bad and/or destructive decisions – not their spouses or partners.
Getting back to my point about appearance, the answers to patterns of destructive behavior can be found within a person. To repeatedly go outside of committed relationships means there is something missing within the cheater. There is a void that cannot be filled by anyone else. Beautiful women and handsome men will not fill the void; money will not fill the void; and a great career won’t do the trick. That’s why people such as Mr. Knowles and others who appear to have it all commit destructive acts. The empty place within makes them aimlessly search for it in other people and things. The wife of an unfaithful husband can be under the misguided impression that if she changes her looks, clothes, or hair, he will become attracted to her again and cease his wayward ways. This is a false notion because the problem isn’t one of attraction. It’s a matter of his low or no self-esteem, which will become hers as well if she doesn’t recognize the problem and combat it intelligently, timely, and effectively.
Men who habitually cheat deal with internal conflicts and among them are issues of self-worth, manhood, and virility. So if he is internally troubled, confused, and out of touch, the changes a woman attempts to make in order to be attractive to him are futile because he and she are operating out of false notions. If a woman doesn’t feel beautiful within, she may cheat and constantly search for relationships looking for a man who makes her feel beautiful. She will never find him because he can’t make her feel beautiful if she doesn’t believe she is. If her appetite for glory based on external looks isn’t satisfied, her frustration will be manifested in a number of destructive ways. Nothing her partner does will be appreciated. When the man or woman who is empty, troubled, refuses to admit it, or take corrective action, they will turn to others in order to prove a lie. If he or she isn’t satisfied within, nothing the other person does will be satisfying. Fulfillment begins with self-fulfillment. Happiness starts with inner-peace.
The habitual cheater may appear to be happy with constant conquests, but happy they are not. Except for foreplay and a few seconds of climax, engaging in sexual behavior with a long list of lovers cannot be satisfying. It means that none of them are fulfilling whatever the “wonderer” is in need of. Once again, the problem is within. In the end, they are not to be envied, but rather pitied. They lose of a piece of themselves to each person with whom they come in sexual contact. If they’re in a constant state of losing, then it is improbable they will ever be fulfilled. Hence the search continues.
There is no space for trouble to reside within when we are conscious about what it takes to fulfill us. When we are comfortable in our own skin, completely satisfied with who we are, and allow ourselves to evolve, it isn’t necessary to search for these qualities in other people. When this is the case, the decisions we make are sound, value-added, and for the good of the loving relationships. When we are self-fulfilled with self-esteem, it isn’t necessary to take from others because we have plenty in reserve and to give.
~Copa