Photography by Benzio
Gail Margaret King
"All Roads Lead to Gratitude"
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about breast cancer. And, it’s not just because I was diagnosed with it 45 years ago, but it’s because of the many women and their families who reach out to me on social media sites and at my appearances and motivational speeches at breast cancer events. When asked my thoughts about Breast Cancer Awareness Month, one word comes quickly to mind: Gratitude. Believe me, I do recognize the seriousness of this insidious disease. I too, have learned that no one is immortal and that life is not always fair. Who hasn’t ever felt overwhelmed or fearful of losing control? But, what it comes down to for most of us is: our attitude.
Although I try to avoid people who consistently complain or always have a negative attitude towards others or life in general, we all know people like that. If they were to change their thinking and their negativity, everything they face in life -- including a cancer diagnosis -- would be less daunting and could possibly even give them back control. Once you feel in control, you can become involved in your treatment and with your medical team ensure the best possible treatment available. Who wouldn’t feel better knowing how much your team is trying to help you during this difficult time?
Although I try to avoid people who consistently complain or always have a negative attitude towards others or life in general, we all know people like that. If they were to change their thinking and their negativity, everything they face in life -- including a cancer diagnosis -- would be less daunting and could possibly even give them back control. Once you feel in control, you can become involved in your treatment and with your medical team ensure the best possible treatment available. Who wouldn’t feel better knowing how much your team is trying to help you during this difficult time?
In addition to living a life which is balanced spiritually, physically and emotionally I am grateful to those people who have inspired me. I am thankful to Winston Churchill who had to repeat eighth grade a few times because he couldn’t pass English. Years later, he was invited to speak at a commencement address at Oxford University. Thunderous applause greeted him as he stepped to the podium. As the audience quieted down, he shouted: “Never give up!“ A moment later, he shouted into the microphone once again: “Never give up” He collected his cane and hat and left the stage; his speech was completed. That simple piece of advice stayed with me since age 25, when I was diagnosed.
My father, my hero, had never lied to me about anything. When all of my visitors left my room a few days after my surgeries, my dad turned to leave the room. I asked in a barely audible voice if he thought I was going to die. He stopped in his tracks, turned around and said in a loud voice: “No!” I asked how he could be so sure and he replied: “Because I won’t let you”. Because I believed him and in him, he became the turning point in my outlook. As he turned to leave, this former Golden Glover raised his fist high in the air and left. I never had the chance to thank my father for this. Somehow, I think he knew.
My father, my hero, had never lied to me about anything. When all of my visitors left my room a few days after my surgeries, my dad turned to leave the room. I asked in a barely audible voice if he thought I was going to die. He stopped in his tracks, turned around and said in a loud voice: “No!” I asked how he could be so sure and he replied: “Because I won’t let you”. Because I believed him and in him, he became the turning point in my outlook. As he turned to leave, this former Golden Glover raised his fist high in the air and left. I never had the chance to thank my father for this. Somehow, I think he knew.
I am thankful for finding a copy of Norman Cousin’s book, "Anatomy of An Illness." Given only a few months to live, he wrote about his experience using laughter to relieve his pain from cancer and to help with recovery. He did not die for twenty years, while helping to prove that laughter and humor can have a curative effect on one’s mind, feelings and body. When I was laughing I didn’t have time to think about my diagnosis. Laughter also encouraged others to be around me so that I could heal faster.
Dr. Bernie Siegel, in his book "Love, Medicine & Miracles" poses the question: What will this disease permit me to do? What chances am I willing to take and what life changing experiences will I have as a result of this?
Dr. Bernie Siegel, in his book "Love, Medicine & Miracles" poses the question: What will this disease permit me to do? What chances am I willing to take and what life changing experiences will I have as a result of this?
After winning the New York and National Beauty Pageant at age 60, I began modeling and acting on TV and in movies, and giving motivational speeches before an audience of 3,000. I have rediscovered my passion and further enhanced my life.
I am the host of the Web TV show: "LooKING to make a Difference with GAIL," seen on Cablevision, Roku on The Lightningstar Entertainment Channel, YouTube-LooKING to make a Difference with GAIL and www.gailkingtv.com.Talk about gratitude! I am surrounded by talented and inspirational guests who are daily enhancing the lives of others and reinforcing my belief in the good of mankind. My guests have truly humbled me and have taught me my final lesson: be grateful for all that I have and to never take anything for granted.
When William Shakespeare stated “How sweet are the many uses of adversity,” I could only think of all the good that has come from my experience. I was proud of how I handled my situation and I saw my confidence soar asa I turned twenty six years old. I became a more compassionate woman and realized how much I could learn from the kindness and help I accepted from others. More importantly, I learned how fortunate I was to be able to give back.” Paying it forward” has become an integral part of my life. I learned that you don’t have to come in first in a pageant order to be a winner. A winner is defined in how she lives her life each and every day. I am number one because of who I have become, not because I didn’t die. I am thrilled to dedicate the second act of my life volunteering as I am determined to make a difference. I discovered what the humorist Sam Levenson already knew:” You have two hands: one for helping yourself the other for helping others.”
