You may ask yourselves, why would a woman want to be the
vessel for men to speak out? My answer is pure….there are too many
angry, hurt woman and misunderstood men. I do this, not because I support the man’s
perspective, nor am I against women...MEN, you are the other half of me. We have been created to be together. My love for US is my motivation. Mingo is one woman who has decided to try a
different approach, “shut up and listen…” so we may be enlightened and learn.
What is Conversations
with MINGO? Heart to heart talk
about love and relationships; however, from the
Man’s Perspective! I came up with this idea as a new approach in bridging
the gap of communication between men and women. At Conversations with MINGO,
Men Talk, Women Listen and Become Enlightened! So ladies…
if you really desire to understand men…..take off your shoes, relax and listen
while they have Conversations with MINGO….
What makes relationships work?
In my interview with Keith Holmes, former two times Middle Weight Boxing Champion of the World, I asked him and many men what they feel contributes to this gap. Keith states, “A lack of compatibility” is one catalyst. He went on to say, “In this society, there are many settlements….people settle because of material things or because of looks.” Due to these factors, “relationships continue to fall short because there is no compatibility without a foundation.”
When asked about the importance of communication, Keith shared he was formerly married for 17 years and not a good communicator. Many men reveal to me that they also struggle with the ability to communicate effectively with their partner. There is an overwhelming consensus from men who express that during disagreements, their voice is not heard. “It’s virtually impossible to be candid about what we really feel without paying the consequences for doing so. Eventually, we just shut down completely.” one man stated. Men need to be able to express their true thoughts, opinions and feelings without condemnation, ridicule nor rebuttal. As women, we tend to take over while communicating with men. We have an innate ability to control a conversation with skill and strategy only to make our men shut down and go elsewhere instead of talking to us. My question is, “How is it working for you?” Not very well I’m sure. By providing a safe non-confrontational approach for men to “let go” and express themselves freely,it will ultimately enhance our relationships. Ladies, “the truth will set you free.”To hear the truth is important…..HIS real truth, not what we think.
What helped you to become a better communicator and what can you share with men to help them communicate better with the women in their lives?
Keith goes on to explain that both men and women need to be accountable for their part of the problem. “I believe all men today should apologize for our own ignorance, but a woman has to understand that she has to account for her own. But, no matter what, a lot of them blame us. “states Holmes. “I want to start by apologizing to all the women in the world.”I commend Keith for taking the lead by apologizing and acknowledging the emotions of all women.This truly is a demonstration of effective communication. Expressing sensitivity to your partner’s feelings is vital for longevity in the relationship. Keith took the initiative to learn how to communicate more effectively. We all have the responsibility to develop ourselves so that we may have the same type of “frame of mind”. Keith goes on to express his analogy on marriage. “When the creator put two together they became one, so they wouldn’t be pulling each other apart.” He now spends more time, quality time with his woman and has a healthier relationship.
How do you handle disagreements?
When I asked Keith how he handles disagreements, he shared how communication is more effective “when stating facts because they are more solid” during discussions. He went on to give a personal example of being a vegan dating a woman who is carnivorous. Although he may have the emotional love and desire for her, it becomes inevitable that the relationship will not survive based on these very facts.
How do you love your woman? How do you show expressions of love when you are not strong and how do you show her you need her?
I ask Keith how does he love and how does he show his woman that he is hurt and needs her? “I was taught that love is action.” states Holmes. However; for most women, love is emotional, a feeling that causes an action. It is something audible we need to hear from our men. Although, most men express their love for women by doing for them….(action). This is a man’s love language, a different way of expressing his feelings. Ladies, for most men…not saying the words “I love you” does not mean that he doesn’t love you.Keith states that he shows his lady love by doing for her. He watches Lifetime TV, rubs her feet, etc. “something I have never done before but have come to enjoy and love.” says Holmes. I had to learn how to show my need for her the hard way.” Holmes lost his mother at the age of 15 which left him with an extreme sensitivity to women and children. Holmes goes on to explain the importance of truly enjoying these actions of love as well so he is being genuine to himself and his woman. Returning back to Genesis, he calls it.
Do you feel that sometimes women don’t show the affection that men need and that plays a part as to why men can be so shutdown?
“Today a cheating relationship lasts longer than a faithful one. This is wrong,” states Holmes. When I ask men why they cheat on their partner, the initial answer that men tell me is that they do not feel appreciated. They also shared when a woman talks without listening and allowing him to express himself, it makes him also feel disrespected. Ladies, for men to feel appreciated by you, keeps them in your heart as well as in your bed. If the relationship continues to spiral downward, many men tell me they shut down and will look elsewhere to satisfy their needs.
As an “Advocate of Love” and healthy communication, it saddens me to see the statistics of divorce, separation and the lack of families raising their children together. I thought about the catalyst for the fall of the family and why marriages aren’t surviving. What I have found is men and women have completely different perspectives as to why they feel relationships fail. That in itself is the core of the problem. We are not in-tuned with each other; therefore, how can we begin to satisfy one another’s needs?
Men, you have forgotten you are Kings and that every King needs his Queen by his side. The problem is you have forgotten who you are as well as the responsibility of your title. You have forgotten how to hunt for your Queen and to cherish her once captured. And ladies, as a Queen, we have forgotten how to treat our man as the Kings that they are. To honor, respect, trust, listen and support him and uphold him “at all times.” I say this with love. We must get back to the core of who we are so we may repair the continual damage we inflict upon the family and our children.
Much love…Mingo
~Copa
What makes relationships work?
In my interview with Keith Holmes, former two times Middle Weight Boxing Champion of the World, I asked him and many men what they feel contributes to this gap. Keith states, “A lack of compatibility” is one catalyst. He went on to say, “In this society, there are many settlements….people settle because of material things or because of looks.” Due to these factors, “relationships continue to fall short because there is no compatibility without a foundation.”
When asked about the importance of communication, Keith shared he was formerly married for 17 years and not a good communicator. Many men reveal to me that they also struggle with the ability to communicate effectively with their partner. There is an overwhelming consensus from men who express that during disagreements, their voice is not heard. “It’s virtually impossible to be candid about what we really feel without paying the consequences for doing so. Eventually, we just shut down completely.” one man stated. Men need to be able to express their true thoughts, opinions and feelings without condemnation, ridicule nor rebuttal. As women, we tend to take over while communicating with men. We have an innate ability to control a conversation with skill and strategy only to make our men shut down and go elsewhere instead of talking to us. My question is, “How is it working for you?” Not very well I’m sure. By providing a safe non-confrontational approach for men to “let go” and express themselves freely,it will ultimately enhance our relationships. Ladies, “the truth will set you free.”To hear the truth is important…..HIS real truth, not what we think.
What helped you to become a better communicator and what can you share with men to help them communicate better with the women in their lives?
Keith goes on to explain that both men and women need to be accountable for their part of the problem. “I believe all men today should apologize for our own ignorance, but a woman has to understand that she has to account for her own. But, no matter what, a lot of them blame us. “states Holmes. “I want to start by apologizing to all the women in the world.”I commend Keith for taking the lead by apologizing and acknowledging the emotions of all women.This truly is a demonstration of effective communication. Expressing sensitivity to your partner’s feelings is vital for longevity in the relationship. Keith took the initiative to learn how to communicate more effectively. We all have the responsibility to develop ourselves so that we may have the same type of “frame of mind”. Keith goes on to express his analogy on marriage. “When the creator put two together they became one, so they wouldn’t be pulling each other apart.” He now spends more time, quality time with his woman and has a healthier relationship.
How do you handle disagreements?
When I asked Keith how he handles disagreements, he shared how communication is more effective “when stating facts because they are more solid” during discussions. He went on to give a personal example of being a vegan dating a woman who is carnivorous. Although he may have the emotional love and desire for her, it becomes inevitable that the relationship will not survive based on these very facts.
How do you love your woman? How do you show expressions of love when you are not strong and how do you show her you need her?
I ask Keith how does he love and how does he show his woman that he is hurt and needs her? “I was taught that love is action.” states Holmes. However; for most women, love is emotional, a feeling that causes an action. It is something audible we need to hear from our men. Although, most men express their love for women by doing for them….(action). This is a man’s love language, a different way of expressing his feelings. Ladies, for most men…not saying the words “I love you” does not mean that he doesn’t love you.Keith states that he shows his lady love by doing for her. He watches Lifetime TV, rubs her feet, etc. “something I have never done before but have come to enjoy and love.” says Holmes. I had to learn how to show my need for her the hard way.” Holmes lost his mother at the age of 15 which left him with an extreme sensitivity to women and children. Holmes goes on to explain the importance of truly enjoying these actions of love as well so he is being genuine to himself and his woman. Returning back to Genesis, he calls it.
Do you feel that sometimes women don’t show the affection that men need and that plays a part as to why men can be so shutdown?
“Today a cheating relationship lasts longer than a faithful one. This is wrong,” states Holmes. When I ask men why they cheat on their partner, the initial answer that men tell me is that they do not feel appreciated. They also shared when a woman talks without listening and allowing him to express himself, it makes him also feel disrespected. Ladies, for men to feel appreciated by you, keeps them in your heart as well as in your bed. If the relationship continues to spiral downward, many men tell me they shut down and will look elsewhere to satisfy their needs.
As an “Advocate of Love” and healthy communication, it saddens me to see the statistics of divorce, separation and the lack of families raising their children together. I thought about the catalyst for the fall of the family and why marriages aren’t surviving. What I have found is men and women have completely different perspectives as to why they feel relationships fail. That in itself is the core of the problem. We are not in-tuned with each other; therefore, how can we begin to satisfy one another’s needs?
Men, you have forgotten you are Kings and that every King needs his Queen by his side. The problem is you have forgotten who you are as well as the responsibility of your title. You have forgotten how to hunt for your Queen and to cherish her once captured. And ladies, as a Queen, we have forgotten how to treat our man as the Kings that they are. To honor, respect, trust, listen and support him and uphold him “at all times.” I say this with love. We must get back to the core of who we are so we may repair the continual damage we inflict upon the family and our children.
Much love…Mingo
~Copa
